When I left the band in 1965 and ended up in Texas I had no work for a long time . I took a place on the Colorado River with two other guys . One of the guys was a drummer and professor at the U of Texas, Austin, Sticks Whipple. Sticks was also the fencing champion at the University. Usually he was a quiet kind of guy with a good sense of humor but one night he drank a bit at our "Castle" and got pretty arrogant at a party we had there. Another friend and me had put together what we called a "Color Organ" by attaching wires to each contact on an organ fingerboard . While it wasn't connected to sound , the front panel danced with the different colored lights inside the television type enclosure.Basically, as we played along with the music at the party , the lights rhythmically mesmerized the other drinking ,smoking people who happened to look in the direction of the organ set up.As I was playing I could see Sticks bragging uncharacteristically and goading another ,younger mathematics student into picking up the sword to have a mock battle with him , "the champion".He wouldn't let up , eventually poking the math guy with his sword till finally the other guy grabbed a sword and went at Sticks. There was no dancing ,dodging ,or maneuvering involved because as quick as a wink the math major attacked , cutting Sticks who was bleeding nicely from his forehead and bending the sword in the process,evidently over Stick's head .



The one thing about this fight that seems to ring true is that in a violent struggle even a champion can be defeated . The rules of fencing didn't come into play and ,without restraint , Sticks was lucky he didn't lose his life in the quickness and violence.The party went on after the short battle with sticks licking his wounds and making up with the other guy , realizing that he was the one who had pressed the comical issue and had brought it to a dramatic conclusion.

The Blues Life

I named the picture above ,"These are the Blues"

I responded to an article on Wynton Marsalis posted in "Facebook" by one of my "friends" there. I posted the first paragraph and then went back and deleted it . I realized that I don't know the "friend" very well at all. It occurred to me that I hire the man but he probably isn't really a friend ,especially as he posted an article titled, "Racism and Greed have Put the Blues on the Back Street" ( or back pages ... I don't recall right now and I refuse to post a link to this bullshit) It was an interview with Marsalis in Oct.2009. I start with my would be response :

It is ironic that Marsalis should be commenting on"Racism"much less his pretended authority on the "Blues".The article itself was just another chance at a plug for his current "bad" project where he tries to reunite with "White people" by doing a blues side with Willy Nelson. If there was one thing I got out of the Burns "Jazz" film project , it was that I personally don't want to support Wynton Marsalis any more than I support Willy Nelson.Boy,what a pair.Neither of them swing. The irony and "humor of God" is exhibited here ,yet another "Theo-Funny", not to be confused with the sounds of God,"Theo phony".



Then thoughts on the "Blues Life"



When I think of "Blues" I think of Lightning Hopkins . he played across the lines , that is the bar lines ,out of time ,out of rhyme yet with the essence of the definition of "blues". He lived the blues, as many actual blues players do, their lives a tragedy of mishaps and problems. Maybe this is why the"Blues" are so universal . The struggle of existence is pretty generally the same for everyone with the same conclusion. In between may be peaches and cream or the "Blues" and probably all of the above but the blues singer is naked in his lyric .



One night in Austin Texas about 1965 ,I was watching Lightning Hopkins at a coffee house . He introduced his washboard player as a destitute though I am sure that they had been traveling together playing club after club for years. As the applause died down ,Lightning snuck a taste from the Jack Daniels pint sitting behind his chair on stage before he went into another number. I felt a pinch on my ass and looked around and there was Janice Joplin standing next to me smiling that shit eating grin.she was dressed in a dirty tee shirt and tight jeans , fucked up as usual. I had to laugh at her smiling at me like she had gotten away with something . It didn't bother me but I still wasn't interested in her . We watched the next tune and suddenly two cops went onstage and started talking to Hopkins. It ended up with them putting handcuffs on him and taking him out of the club . He was arrested for drinking in the club and they took him to jail. Janice and me went to a local bar and put down a few more . The entire scene , Lightning introducing his destitute closest friend , Janice grabbing my ass, drunk, the arrest, and the life of "Blues" connected to Lightning Hopkins , is the essence of "Blues".It doesn't need an explanation ,over analyzing,or the acceptance of Wynton Marsalis.It doesn't have to be re-done ,singing ahead of the beat by old hillbillies like Willie Nelson . No amount of hair or pot will ever change Mr. Nelson in my minds eye that can still see him in the early sixties and who he really always was before Johnny Cash and Bobby Dylan started French kissing in 1972.



When I think of Janice and her life of "Blues" , I see her in that club and before ,the night she sat in with the Bob Sardo Trio on his gig at the "Id" , the local Austin College town bar at the time . Janice was so loaded that she was beyond singing ,nearly falling off the stage , loud , and annoying as drunks can get . She was escorted out of the place , thrown out . I was sitting coincidentally sitting in with Bob that night on stringed bass and Janice had remembered me from back then.Her adventures after 1965 have been documented pretty thoroughly and they seemed to be a continuance of her "Blues" life which eventually over took her as she tried to overcome her "Blues".Since 1965 I have seen too many overcome too recently, and too close to me to look back too soon , much too soon .

No Problem

You say ,"Thank you" and "No problem", the guy says like it might have been a problem if he weren't working there but he is working there and that is his job . What happened to "you're welcome" . People want to be as cool as Miles Davis, aloof ,unresponsive. Most people don't even know who Miles Davis is unless they heard the rock crap he was playing from the mid seventies still the attitude has filtered down to the peons. The Seven Eleven , the drug store , the gas station. It is part of the whole ,let's face it , society is rude,ruder, than any time ever before . People speak openly ,in full voice on the cell phone in the public library.They are too busy to concentrate on driving because there is a call coming in.When not on the phone their car is shaking from the sub-sonics of rap bouncing my car which is twenty feet ahead.You cannot get a human being on the phone to speak of business after you sign up for Internet or your phone as the company offers a robot to take care of your unimportant problem. The companies promising great advantages with their newest browsers on line expect you to wade through a plethora of what they call "Forums" that house a lot more questions just like your but no answers.Is it any wonder that the greed of a capitalist nation has caught up to the economy, in the form of a mirror that says."No problem" but really says , "I don't care ."

Well, we are "Cool" now , we are losing our jobs , our homes , our families, our representatives in congress but we are "Cool".The lobbies that represent big business , Insurance companies, Doctors,Lawyers, Wall Street , and other possible white collar crimes are running this country .The representatives , the elected officials that are supposed to be our lobby are saying "No problem" to their constituency once they are elected and "In" but there is a "problem".The problem might be beyond our abstract means of repairing it .If there is a problem of light being shone on the problem it can be clouded in "Patriotism" or another war front. Questioning the problem becomes "Treason". The change of political parties makes no difference because they are all on the same team and that is not our team.

Hey ! They were supposed to be on our team !

Music and Dance

Dance music might be an ancient cause of music as well as a church , so we have two origins that have continued. Church music doesn't need the dance in fact as late as the mid- sixties I remember when the Missouri Synod of the Lutheran Church decided to allow it's members to dance in social occasions and that didn't include the church .There was a semi-popular movie with Kevin Bacon playing the son of a preacher in the fictional church that brought attention to this very idea .The preacher's part was played by a tall actor that has since gone into over acting on television comedy series but he used to play roles with a lot of frowning or where he was the "heavy".I went to a Missouri Synod church but the drama was never there , in fact I was never told not to dance . I was an acolyte on Sundays and still play some of the tunes I liked on organ that I heard at the services while I sat in costume or assisted at communion, a dress-like white frock over a long black gown which was similar to the pastors .



I did dance even at ten when I remember repeatedly bumping against my baby sitter as we practiced the jitterbug and exciting her fifteen year old hormones . My school went on the local television dance show in the fifties . Dance contest to pop music was the "cool" thing for people who were socially popular . I did participate till I aspired to become a "Beatnik" and separated from the crowd . I had found jazz and classical music by twelve when my parents separated and divorced. My father left some records which I guess I wanted to enjoy as he wasn't there.Looking back now ,I realize that he hadn't been there too much for years .I think I was trying to please him in his absence by getting into the music and actually practicing and performing music. My father was a trumpet player who became an arranger and eventually a composer.It is easier to see this concept now but I didn't see this for most of my life and certainly didn't suspect this as a motive . I guess I wasn't looking for a motive.Anyway , the music I found in Stravinsky's "Petroushka" opened my ears and made me want more. The trumpet stylings and character of Chet Baker , another of the chance recordings left there, also seemed to direct me to follow , finding improvisation excited my mind.By 1958 I was into Miles Davis and searching for more electronic music. In 59 Ornette opened up my ears more and soon classical ,music concrete, jazz, and electronic music seemed to be agreeing and co-operating together .



Music can be abstract ,mathematical, make sense or not, and also just noise moving from one time to another.Certainly social situations like dances can be the initiate of taste for the sound of music but music doesn't have to dance all the time. Music can be rewarding in the abstract as a painting , a sculpture, an independent work standing alone. Beauty in the eye of the beholder , as it were , becomes an individual experience.What if music is as abstract as "Friendship", "Love", or even "God". Certainly the phrase"My music" isn't something foreign to the ear ,in fact it has taken a very familiar ring . It isn't a phrase always associated with classical composers or jazz but also with popular ,dance music. The selling of music has become an enormous business and the characterization of legitimacy , creativeness , and even the illusion of individualism has become a part of the spin by advertising agents. The subliminal excitations of "Sub-sonics" has become a part of marketing in music . Indeed , the "Beat" , the drums , the rhythm ,and the suggested motion of dance is integral in today's pop music . Rap ,ironically uses sounds that are below the human ear range which create tension .This technique was also used by the Nazis at Hitler rallies before his speeches . His speech gave the illusion of ,ironically ,bringing peace .The beat goes on . Perhaps the lower denominator and the earliest rhythm music is still the most powerful communicator to the most people . The dance did invoke the rituals of fertilization and rebirth and even sacrifice to the basic gods of agriculture , sex , war ,and more abstract ideas as culture progressed .Perhaps today we see a revitalization of the basic call to the dance but music still progresses outside the dance as well.

Addiction

I know a lot of people who have succumb to the indulgences that were once fun and seemed harmless .Smoking and drinking were perhaps seen ,from the point of a child , as how to appear adult in those years when we used to add a year to our actual age. Remember being fifteen and saying you were sixteen as well as those years before you turned twenty one . Did you alter your drivers license? Through adulthood we faced many other temptations that , perhaps,were fun at first .Those seemingly innocent self indulgences came along in social situations. Everybody was doing it so it didn't seem to be so bad at the time.It was fun , things were fun , we were young and winning all our fights not reflective or bitter but hopeful and yearning.


Somewhere along the way the fun became a habit. If it was big enough , a habit became a maintenance. The social indulgence became an obsession.This habit building succession can be applied to many things including social communications like "Myspace" or "Facebook" but the physical challenges of drinking , smoking , and recreational drugs are more immediate,destructive, and consuming to the individual.The social indulgence became an activity instead of a sideline , a side dish to human interaction.


"What are you going to do this weekend?"

"We're going to drink till our gums recede."



At this point it might be still a social event however the timing becomes habitual. The drinker learns when his "Bar" opens and looks forward to the time that he can drink. Security is having a safe amount of booze available at all times . It may be a six pack or perhaps a case of beer , a quart , a gallon of vodka , an ounce or ten joints of pot, a gram of cocaine, or even just a pack of cigarettes.The body starts craving , the timing calls, a certain amount must be imbibed. The individual cannot see the progression objectively at some point in the progression of the monster taking over , the addiction taking it's due. Sometimes friends and family see signs of the problem , sometimes not. The individual does not want to hear negative remarks because objectivity is gone.


Sometimes drinking can be analogous with a disease. Actually, in my opinion much of any addiction should be recognized as a disease. A disease is bigger than will power and moral legislation. A disease isn't treated with law enforcement or supernatural promises. A disease sometimes can be treated with other drugs, medications to alleviate the need for the habitual problem. Sometimes the replacement can be as bad or worse than the original addiction , as in the case of methadone substituting for heroin .


In the early nineteen sixties the drug LSD was used to treat alcoholism with some good results. There might have been other positive uses for LSD but for the campaign of our government to stop the recreational use by the public before it was made illegal.The legal uses by psychoanalyst were cut off by the government deceptions of the era ,for instance the campaign to spread the word that LSD could cause malformations of fetuses like the another drug in the news at that time,thalidomide. This was a lie ,a myth perhaps created in an effort to stop the experimentation of people with a (then)legal substance.It is very possible that LSD could be used to treat other addictions but that will not be an acceptable theory to be tested in the current climate.What we see as laymen are "Bad trips" which are over-publicized while the benefits of the exploration of the self and the bringing to light of the sub-conscious has been neglected.Recently I was a approached to edit a theoretic paper on the "Eleusinian Mysteries"of ancient Greece.The theory was associated with an earlier period of time in Egypt .The theory had to do with the use of drugs during initiations and rites. The drug mentioned was ergot which had hallucinogenic effect , similar to LSD.While the paper was well constructed and well researched and documented, I advised the psychoanalyst to avoid any association with LSD. LSD has gone the way of "Pot" and the campaign "worked" to demonize and see the relatively harmless as producing horrendous habitual problems. The government has yet to truthfully associate alcohol with the problems it brings about and that is probably because of the strong alcohol lobby hanging around congress and their "Parties".

The idea that "I can control it," is a recognisable phrase to addicts. They might actually believe the sentence as they mention this idea to others but later ,when their bar opens,they have to attend to their ministries.One birthday , my step father gave me all the domestic sherries as a present.I did drink them all eventually and one that I didn't care for at the time was a dry sherry. It had a bitter taste and I drank it slowly over ice. Time after time when I decided to cut down I would drink the dry sherry with the idea that because I didn't like the taste I wouldn't drink as much. What actually happened was that I kept drinking more .I drank two bottles at a time , then three.Once I recognized that I was loaded I thought I might as well go back to my regular choice of booze.The point is that I found a way to sneak around my own limitations that I had put on myself.Later I found that the only way for me to stop was to stop and not to ween myself off gradually. There is no self control , that is the nature of addiction. That is the nature of disease as well. You can't recover from a common cold by willing yourself to stop sneezing.

The physical addictions are more immediate and demanding monsters.On the TV show"So You Think You Can Dance"there was a dance choreographed to show a dancer playing the part of "Addiction"torturing his partner,a beautiful blond young woman.It was an outstanding depiction of the theme as he caressed her ,pulled her, dragged her, bullied her, and successfully continued to drag her back to his control. It brought tears to my eyes because I recognized him.I think that perhaps addiction as a whole might classify as a disease much as does alcoholism.Almost ,like a virus,though small,it can become bigger than the victim.A social event brought many people innocently to drugs but as the plot developed , other people were no longer needed,only the habit.Treatment should not involve the idea of "Just say no!",moral legislation,law enforcement,or the supernatural.Keep up your own regiment ,if you can,but try not to blame yourself,if you fail sometime.

Almost two years ago I lost another good friend to the beast.His wife contacted me and said he was taking a lot of laxatives and wasn't interested in her anymore. I told her to look for his stash and she found the percadon.They went to the doctor and the doctor found a cracked rib and prescribed "percadon" , so now he was getting them from the doctor and from the black market. As things progressed he went on methadone maintenance to get off the percadon. He loved the methadone high but this treatment makes your bones brittle. He nodded out in his kitchen ,fell, and broke his hip. After the hip replacement surgery he was found dead in his hospital room slumped over his guitar.There was nothing I could say to him by phone as his phone seemed to magically run out of battery whenever I confronted him with the issue of his re-found addiction.My helplessness was nothing next to his own in the throws of the ecstasy of his habit which was a government supported maintenance treatment.

I know too many women right now who are wrapped tight in their cups. They speak with me sometimes sounding like I did as a young man , bragging to me about their sexual contacts, speaking too loud, and not focusing.Manliness isn't really attractive in women.The aggressive behavior is annoying and transparent. Neither of the three women can see themselves as I see them. They are all in their fifties and they wouldn't have a lot in common, if they even knew one another,yet they would be happy drinking together.The loss of control , focus, depression, and aggressive behavior would put them all in the same category , over compensating for their insecurities , calling me out of the blue though I never had a relationship with any of them.I wish there were something I could say to allow them to see that I have done the same , have known others who have suffered worse , even death , in the throws of their addiction and they aren't alone in the fact that the problem might be beyond their control. I did confront one of the women by day when I knew she would have a sober moment and told her that she calls me like an old boyfriend when she gets drunk.I haven't been able to reach her again for well over a year. Now, I try not to be too blatant in my observations.

I got a call last night which woke me up as I had to get up this morning . It was near two and I had probably been fast asleep for at least a half an hour when the phone rang. In a stupor I got up as I forgot to put the phone nearby. I fumbled ,looking for the phone but didn't reach it in time , standing next to it as it stopped. I went downstairs to see who called on the caller ID and I knew it was someone who knew me from way back when people called me around the clock. I called her this afternoon ,no answer. she eventually called back and said ,"You called me?" Of course , I told her I was calling her back . she said she didn't notice what time it was at the time she called . There wasn't a lot to say but I mentioned I had been thinking about her as I was writing this blog article about addiction.It wasn't like I was ever one of her old boyfriends , it was her husband who I had known since 1966 and died a couple of years ago( the methadone story above). Addictions have a way of being passed along to people close by as well as the children. She mentioned that his son was going into something "Blue" , a drug she couldn't explain but it is all the same drug , the same , monster , the same reliance , the same self indulgence. I knew that she also must have had a booze moment to call me.

I wish there were something I could say that would change anything about the addictive personality and destructive things that go along with it.I have spoken with people and recognized that they were just pretending and not really focusing on what they were pretending with me, namely that they were staying away from the monster. It does take one to know one and you can't kid a kidder and all that jazz . Recognizing the lie doesn't help a thing in my heart. Anything can be over done. I have a friend who carries a thirty pound bag and another ten pounds or more in a second bag. She didn't always carry all that weight but it seemed to accumulate. There was nothing I could do to keep her from carrying the forty pounds everywhere. The baggage was keeping her from getting work and people looked at her strangely. I told her the truth as I saw it and tried to get her to come out without the weight but she would even take it to the bathroom when she visited here.Eventually she lost her place , the second time in two years.Her habit brought her down yet she continued to cling to it.This is addiction, this is sickness, this is the nature of a disease. It becomes bigger than the victims needs. I wish there were something I could say that could have changed anything.

Rippling Torture

It is astounding to me that there is still a discussion about the merits of torture . Now, they are dragging out Sheik what's his name and showing how water boarding helped to make him sing like a "Canary". They didn't mention that he also confessed to being a witch and flying around the world trade center on a broom. There is no defense for torture or the negation of history. Why was the "Spanish Inquisition" stopped ? Was it stopped ? Wasn't this a further persecution of Jews? Why were the Salem witch trials stopped? Have they been stopped? Did "Goody two shoes" win over "Goody" the witch? The enormity of this situation is muddied in the "health Plan" smear campaign , the fear of euthanasia , as if this is an evil plan to kill the citizenry of the United States and not a blatant , political media lie. While the fingers point to a "liberal press" , why is it all we get is conservative republican posturing and moral nail biting.



Today , the end of August 2009, there is a debate in America about the right of our country to torture prisoners.What is it we are fighting for in Iraq or Afghanistan? Are we fighting for the right to torture prisoners throughout the world as well? How far can we go in the name of "National Security"? Does this right to torture include torturing Americans? Has this already occurred?Is it happening right now?



While we continue to wave the flag and shout platitudes of glory ,our system has been compromised. This isn't a new occasion as I saw it in 1968 Chicago.Today on "Hardball" with Chris Mathews I saw a woman , a recent talking head , say that most Americans sided against the Viet Nam War when the Chicago riots were televised . She was echoing the later Nixon Whitehouse political characterization of the "Silent Majority". That Democratic Convention put a nail in the party that was already self destructing by not recognizing the murders of Martin Luther King and Bobby Kennedy , both major Democrats killed months before the "Riots"occurred. Incidentally, I knew kids who were going to the Chicago that year . They invited me to join because it was a planned social event , a "Be In" , a "Protest rally" . Those "Kids" weren't going to cause a riot at all.The right to assembly was supposed to be the right of our citizenry. While the Republicans won over the self destructing Democrats that year , within four years Nixon had compromised the CIA and the FBI in his own misuse of power in the name of his presidency. The political assassination of McGovern wasn't really needed to win the following election yet the "Watergate" break in was just a tip of that iceberg , another "Witch Hunt" which was to have forced answers.



Nearly forty years from that date and the climate become too dangerous to disagree with the party in power. The Bush Whitehouse made the line ,"..Have one doubt and they call it treason"( "Compared to What?") a reality in America .The Iraq War, founded in lies, continued with characterizations after the actual facts. While our economy has gone into the dumper, our cites suffer the lack of funds , and are actually physically threatened, as in New Orleans, our big businesses are supported with "Bail Outs"while our citizenry looks on incredibly , losing their houses and jobs along the way. Is it any wonder that the question of torture can be brought up at such a time in our history? Torture has been used by our government and the victims become scapegoats that deflect the attention of a flag waving public being swayed by political posturing and the vengeance of recent years.Obama says he doesn't wish to look back and is continuing the cover up by his inaction. Why would we expect him to be any different than the rest of Congress who continue to protect their right to a health care program , yearly raises in their salary, and continued benefits from big business lobbyist. In spite all the campaign promises in years since Reagan of campaign reform , term limits, and curbing power of the lobbyist , all questions are moot once the elections are over.The question of "Torture" also is becoming a dull roar but we should never abandon the principals of our ideology for the immediate gratification of political interest.

The fight of the "Chicago Seven" was another "Witch Trial" , another small war that was fought in the name of all of our rights as citizens. The trials continue. The problem continues. The Spanish Inquisition and Salem Witch Trials haven't really stopped as well as the persecution of Jews. Our founding fathers were witnesses to what religion and government could do in England and saw fit to provide a separation of church and state for fear of this theocratic possibility.Torture goes along with Theocracy . It can be seen in the Taliban of Afghanistan as they existed in 1998 . The idea can be seen in Akhenaten in 1200 BC who supported his monotheism with the military of Egypt.Both of these Theocracies were brought down temporarily yet re-surfaced in other places , in other forms. If America would be a democracy or a republican plurality , it still must adhere to it's principals and recognize history ,not coloring and characterizing politically or supporting torturous methods at any time for any cause lest our government becomes our enemy.This terrible repetition of bad history lessons passes state and party lines across the globe as well as in America.Bring the question to an end here and now. Torture does not bring any good at any time when used by any government for any cause.The next person tortured could be you.

Don't Look Back , Something's Coming

If you keep looking back while you're going forward , you might bump into something while you're not paying attention.My bad dream is walking into a parking meter but that is a minor mishap compared to the real catastrophes that can happen.Isaac Newton said,"For every action there is an equal but opposite reaction." Somebody else coined the phrase ,"If you don't pay attention to history , history repeats itself." Thisidea of controlling your life intelligently from an objective point of view looks good on paper yet , as things happen in life , emergencies bounce you about , one reacts as much as one plans . Certainly the argument of environment sometimes supersedes the fact of heredity. So we are looking back , bumping into things , not paying attention to history , and are constantly being challenged by developments beyond our control while time relentlessly passes . All we can do is look back at where we were and hope we can cope with where we are going.

Yesyerday I wrote two messages that were really reminiscences of things past . I was responding to just the mention of "Woodstock" , the event of the summer 1969 as well as a note to another musician that brought up the "Funkadelics" and I wondered if he knew a woman I know close by who went with a guy I knew from before "Woodstock" Joe Chambers . In "Facebook", Marshall Keys , a local musician and friend on "Facebook" wrote: "A friend of mine wants to interview someone in the Washington, DC area who was at Woodstock for its 40th Anniversary. If you were there or know someone who was, please let me know. Of course this person would have to actually remember the events of August 1969!" I responded :"I deliberately didn't go because of the weather but Jimi did even though he had a bad place on the bill . Monday Nt he came back still awake , still stoned , and we went to "Steve Paul's Scene" ( a night club)and sat in ,sessioning between sets on a "Sly"guitar riff we all liked("Sing A Simple Song") . We were asked to stop when they brought on "Sha Na Na" who did their show and moved rock and roll more in the show biz act that Jimi was hoping to get away from as early as Woodstock, the day before . So "Sha Na Na" blew Jimi Hendrix , me , Buddy Miles ,and the bassman off the stand that Monday Nt ."

I wrote to Greg Boyer, an alumni of Funkadelic connections (playing his trombone):"Hey Greg,I wonder if you knew Lynne Flanery who went with Furry ( I think that was his name) , anyway she was hanging around the George Clinton thing from way back when . I met her because she also went with Joe Chambers of the Chambers Brothers , a band of guys I had to hear every night they played the "Electric Circus" . We were the house band at the time as guys like them or Sly Stone came through and tore up the place. We were all "heads" in an era of "heads" . The "Circus" had a band room with black foam rubber that emulated stalactites and a flashing black light inside where we used to go to share a taste between shows , taking our choice of groupies. Those were the days . Man , I am on a jag as Marshall wrote something about Woodstock and I tripped off on another adventure from the same time ....."


Reviewing both of these memories for some reason another man popped into my memory , Buck Clark . Buck was a drummer here in DC when I met him in the summer of 1964. I stopped in his place for a taste and dug is scene as we listened to music . He was a painter of extraordinary works . The enormous African themes and striking colors drew you in closer to examine and enjoy his conceptions . Coincidently ,the year before ,I had met Les McCanne in LA at "Ciros" where he had another DC guy , Roy Airs with him. Buck traveled with Les in his later years playing percussion instruments when they became pretty popular and Les was singing some of the songs. Buck was a great guy , easy to speak with and get along with , at least for me . There were other men in the DC jazz click back then like Charlie Hampton , Buck Hill , Harold Chavis,Steve Novasel , and Butch Warren. Buck Clark and Charlie are long gone but not forgotten by many of us who knew them and worked with them.

In 1964 there was a white musicians union and a black musicians union . Steve and myself were invited to join the black union and I think Steve might have gone with it at that time . I left town before the end of the summer and went West to LA ,joining that union. The musicians union in LA at that time wasn't too bad a place to hang out because they had beer and pool tables and you actually could possibly get a gig right on the site sometimes as they did refer musicians when people called . Washington seemed like another system of graft as did New York when I got there . New York had a place where people hung on the wall and got club dates if they were connected. There were hundreds of men there listening to the cattle call at "Roseland" the ballroom on a lower floor of the musicians union building. The names were recognizable and the same names seemed to be called all the time . It was kind of neat to hear some of the names of the men in the room but if your name wasn't called it just made the city colder no matter what time of year it was .

I did get a call there and went out playing lead guitar with a band for a large dance . It was exciting with so many people dancing and such a good response . One of the tunes was sung by the organist which really was a soul ,boogaloo blues . He would stress the first beat with the lyric ,".. O K , we're gonna rock it one time ,now rock it !" He put it phrases there like ,"O K we're gonna suck it one time ..." It was kind of sensational and thrilling with all the people singing along with the dirty lyrics. Between sets a guy came up and asked to see my union card and I proudly showed it to him but I didn't know that the others didn't show him their cards or weren't in the union at all and he brought me up on charges . I had to appear at the musicians union at a hearing as if I were some kind of musical criminal. I thought it was rotten but paid the fine of fifty dollars and stopped paying dues not long after that but still I had to pay off the local representatives to work around town and New Jersey and Connecticut .

We all had to pay the union to get paid for recordings because all the money went through the union and they took their share first . Many of us would go around the corner to a drug store where we could cash our checks . One day as we were walking that way ,my band bumped into Art Blakey and the Jazz Messengers coming from the same place . I was thrilled to meet him and Lee Morgan , who was still alive . Art said ," Electric Circus, right ?" I was really happy that he knew me . The Messengers had played "The Velvet Underground" which was downstairs from the "Electric Circus" and ,evidently , he had come upstairs just as I had gone downstairs to check them out . Art Blakey was a great man and never pretentious any time that we met over the years. It's funny how I remember those men I respected and who were real people ,not supermen or aloof characters ,too important to speak with me. Dizzy,James Moody,Coleman Hawkins,and Louis Armstrong were all like that with me and I will never forget them as good men. I wish I would have been as good in my life. Buck Clark was one of those guys , too.

The Confusion I'm Feelin' ain't No Tongue Can Tell

"The confusion I'm feeling , Ain't no tongue can tell." "With God on Our Side" Bobby Dylan



I used to play the stringed bass . I left the wrestling team in 1962 to work into the wee hours to my coaches chagrin as I had won all my matches except one in my junior year and the one guy I lost to graduated that year and also won the State championship. Wrestling was a one on one sport , something that was never as popular as football or the other high school sports and really didn't hit it's zenith till fairly recent years with the advent of mixed Marshall arts tournaments . Wrestling took a lot of time . We had to work out every night and sometimes it was hard to make the weight limit but the discipline brought strong will power . Working and making money in my senior year around town brought to fruition some of the dreams I had dreamed since I was about twelve of playing music for a living.Leaving wrestling seemed easy yet I have had second thoughts as my life in music has been a life of sacrifices as well as adventures.Second guessing and "The grass is always greener.." somewhere else never really helps and the time machine has yet to be created from fantasy to reality which might allow a second chance at anything , any decision set in stone in history .



My senior year was one of barely getting by . I , like most young men , was deep into the conflicts of a teenager , wanting to belong as well as wanting to become independent . I was in the throws of being directed and yet coping with the idea of making my own decisions and taking responsibilities . I was young in my collection of mistakes . My visions didn't fit with my family's idea of me and what I was supposed to be .My high school girlfriend had bought her fathers tears about me not being "Jewish" and fell for the entire program which included me not going to her brother's Bar Mitzvah . This seemingly small moment in my history came back years later when I realised that this was a betrayal and a separation , the first in many others that got easier and more frequent over time . I had a catharsis , an urge to separate from everything that was my life and what seemed to be in the future. I was lucky that I actually graduated from high school and left a week later for Los Angeles to find my father . While I had a lot in common with my father , I found that he also had designs on my life and he was affected by his current wife's jealousy of me . Though I had enrolled in college over the summer , my father informed me that he was going to send me back East . It was then that I walked out and found a place to live in Hollywood even before I started the college school year . I had crossed the Rubicon and there was no going back at eighteen.



A lot of years have gone by since 1963 yet that year's insecurities continues to this day . The stringed bass was left behind like the wrestling though I kept looking over my shoulder , wondering ,"What if ?" Chance has played an enormous part in everything.I have bounced and improvised at pivotal points with the basic instincts of a small animal trying to survive . I have been very fortunate along the way yet I still have to improvise and , while I see others accumulating wealth, family , and friends , there is little for me to cling to . Possessions are the toys of the past , the instruments and equipment I have used that are lined on every wall , in the closets , under the bed , and under foot .Yesterday I wondered what would become of my stringed bass if I don't have a place to store it much less to play it .It is only the tip of the musical iceberg and insecurities I face as I continue to age .The truth of the matter is that I am not alone in this life of insecurities and no insurance,or assurances any more than I am alone in the credit card debt I have accumulated.In the end , we all must face our responsibilities alone , and face the world we made for ourselves , good and bad. We have equality as human beings when the days get shorter and there is no insurance or assurance of anything for anyone,rich or poor.Those rich people who have already passed on ,including my own friends , couldn't buy another moment.There were a lot of "good" people who did the "right thing" and karma seemed to fail them . They may not be forgotten but the rest of us have to move on and find our good feelings again , rediscover our current dreams , and press forward and face tomorrow like we did yesterday as if there is no tomorrow.

Un Bel Di

I had never seen "Madame Butterfly" though I had heard it's haunting song . Vaguely I imagined the story and heard the Mills Brothers singing "Poor Butterfly". I thought that the most popular song was Butterfly's swan song , her ending but I found that the song was one of hopeful joy at the possible return , the return of Butterfly's lover . It is a song that reminds me of the song of "Porgy" in the end of Porgy and Bess called "Oh Lawd , I'm On My Way" as he leaves his friends and North Carolina for New York,the "Heavenly Land". I think that part of the tragedy , the pull on your heart ,is that while this is a hopeful song , there doesn't seem much hope of the cripple reaching New York much less regaining his image of the love of Bess , a cocaine addict. In "Butterfly" she sings her song and the opera audience knows the outcome as there is no surprise ending which has been kept a secret . "Un Bel Di" or "One Fine Day" is a dream of how beautiful and romantic the character,"Butterfly" imagines the resolution of her sailor returning to her will be. We all know what is coming , that he will return with his own wife and plan to take his son , Butterfly's child , and Butterfly will commit suicide . "If she can't live with dignity , she will die in dignity."The lyrics of this song , enormous as opera can be , universal as the lost loves ,the plans , and ideas of everyone in the audience, is hopeful yet an example of hopelessness to the fates, the lot of the character's faith in something that will never be ,"Butterfly".

"Weeping? And why? And why? Ah, 'tis faith you are lacking Hear me ...

One fine day we'll notice A thread of smoke arising on the sea In the far horizon And then the ship appearing Then the trim white vessel Glides into the harbour Thunders forth her cannon See you? Now he is coming I do not go to meet him Not I I stay upon the brow of the hillock And wait there And wait for a long time But never weary of the long waiting From out the crowded city There is coming a man A little speck in the distance Climbing the hillock Can you guess who it is? And when he's reached the summit Can you guess what he'll say? He will call, "Butterfly" from the distance I, without answering Hold myself quietly concealed A bit to tease him and a bit So as not to die at our first meeting And then, a little troubled He will call, he will call "Dear baby wife of mine, Dear little orange blossom" The names he used to call me when he came here This will all come to pass as I tell you Banish your idle fears For he will return Return ."

Deanna Durbin Sings "One Fine Day"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4aAuxoWjpVg&feature=related

High Opera sung in character and film by Ying Huang:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpW8Jvl9low

"One Fine Day" Translated and sung by Mary Hopkin with still photos :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7kNFmlxfqM

Iran ????

Iran ? What about Kent State? The United States never corrected it's own corruption.Our troops have fired on it's own citizenry, it's own unarmed children .The continued pseudo obsession with false support of people headed for their own versions of pseudo-democracy is as phony as our own election of 2000 . Let's get back to covering Lindsey Lohan's tits where the cable news really is more at home.Furthermore , the current administration has milked the American coffers instead of putting back the regulations imposed on our stock market and banking industries after the Great Depression because of the un-hindered greed that was recognised then as a major cause. The money that has followed Bush's "Bail Out" is tantamount to waiting in the hallway for the guy to come back with the drugs after you have given him your money . He never comes back and it should only take one bad deal to learn this lesson.The banks received money and ,instead of lending the money and doing the business of banks , they bought other banks and have continued to speculate in commodities and the housing market .

Any Theocracy is built on a great lie . The idea that "absolute power will corrupt absolutely" should be applied to all of those states that pretend that "Prophesy" is real .This includes the Vatican, Israel , and Iran ,as well as the Taliban and ,if you scratch the surface , the Theocratic America . Freedom of Religion is every bit an illusion here as is the entire idea that we have a democratic government , for and by the people.

Don't forget Katrina ! Once there was a New Orleans not a gambling supported lobbyist retreat in the south. Iran can take care of itself without the help of American television which includes the sponsor's messages every five minutes .There is nothing that this congress , or this president can say that will change anything in Iran ,in fact it will only give more credence to the political reality that America doesn't continue it's pseudo-support when the time comes like in Cambodia in the aftermath of Nam or the Tienanmen Square massacre after continued press coverage by American television .

Not With A Bang But With A Whimper

I haven't really bought but a few Cds in the entire time Cds have come into existence . My friend ,Lenny ,copied some sides for me till I had a computer and I could start copying my choices . I put a Cd player in my car and this became the way to go for me , listening to what I chose to listen to and not ever turning on the radio . A few cars back I had an Olds that only had an AM radio and I was bombarded by Rush Limbaugh and never found a Democrat in the bunch . The "Pop" programing was terrible and I gravitated to what was called the "oldies" stations though they played many years past the fifties , my idea of "Oldies". I rarely listened to FM radio except for the listener sponsored or classical stations and they really were too conservative for me ,playing the same old stuff. They seemed to be avoiding twentieth century or modern composers . Yesterday I had trouble with my Cd set up in the car and , as I was traveling a bit , I turned on the FM in desperation . What a wasteland I found there .

I remember the wasteland , the middle of the country in the early sixties when I went on the road playing ,working the entire country , North, West , South ,the Bible Belt , that Honky radio sound when "Country Music " was referred to as "Hillbilly" and things seemed simpler. One of the happiest afternoons I remember was traveling on the road in Texas and getting the surprise of hearing Oscar Peterson playing a stride version of "Honeysuckle Rose" . One tune out of hundreds of nothings and pop flavored pap . Here , in the neighborhoods of Washington DC I once again have found the "Wasteland" , the "Bible Belt" religious fire and brimstone nonsense , the Am radio "Pap" , and the "Hillbilly" security of whining guitars and alchoholic complaints and it is all on FM radio . It's terrible ! There is no jazz in Washington DC . This town is lacking ! Gee, Las Angeles had jazz on Am in 1963 . New York had jazz radio when at least when I was there. DC used to have jazz radio . What happened ? What is called jazz is spoon fed "Smooth" bullshit which goes along with the political climate that prevails here , a life of "lies" and promises that are never fulfilled . People are nearly bouncing in the volume of their cars ,supporting "Rap" with "sub-sonics that Hitler might have admired as he was aware of the affect of sub-sonics to create tension for his rallys. It isn't that "Rap" has a lock on volume or sub-sonics because the Hispanic community has their share of idiots blasting one and five proudly Mexicali and the "Country music" folks certainly aren't left out in the mixed cacophony , an ongoing war at traffic lights .I could not find a classical station at all .

Sometimes it goes like that at times , I mean you surf television only to find that every station happens to have a commercial , sometimes the same commercial at the same time . Chance does play a part in selection yet if there is no choice , namely no classical music or jazz music left on the dial,then it isn't a chance of escaping the current push to take your money with overt sexual overtones , super sub-sonic undertones , and the brainwashing machine that is the music business , that is commercialism , that is capitalism and what has become of our culture . What culture one might ask or perhaps is there anything to art or culture if everything is considered art . When contest that are run by commercial establishment,namely the sponsors of popular television shows, what difference is this than having the newspapers and broadcast news colored by political point of view ? What is good is what sells in capitalism . What sells is what the company wants . The more it sells the better it is . The more expensive the better it is . The "SUV" craze is the perfect example . Here is a car that was generally un-needed , too much power, too expensive to run and repair, too big , and four wheel drive , at least here in DC is needed a few days a year ,if that , still the company pushed and exploited the character of this vehicle , associating it with the current American character and continued to sell it and push it successfully.Evidently they have pushed it beyond their own expectations in that GM and Chrysler are both on their way to bankruptsy . The CEOs took their money and ran , that is the capitalist way . What is good is what sells and money is the Machiavellian answer to any question posed . This is what we have in "Star Search" and in the car behind me five feet bouncing off the ground in volume while the guy is talking on the phone .

I was able to tape a connection together and listen to whatever was left in the CD player , though it wasn't my choice at the time , it was better than anything I could stomach on the radio . I could imagine driving full speed,crashing my car into the nearest radio station with my car if I listened to anything on the radio for more than a minute or till the next commercial. What a wasteland! I ,your humble servant promise never to talk again , never to eat again , never to think again until the next commercial break .This sentence is what the "Company" wants . The thing is that the "Company" have become "Mom and Pop" stores as well . Everyone wants to sell, after all , everyone wants to be successful . It's the American way . How can you mock the "sacred fucking cow" of capitalism you might ask . I will tell you how and why . There is no jazz in DC ! There are no choices . The politics are smug from both sides of the aisle and the music is repetitive and sophomoric . People are waving their musical flags in ignorance much as they started waving the American flag after the attacks of 9/11 . The morning of 9/11 I went outside and saw a neighbor and mentioned something about how terrible it was only to get a response from him of " What's on TV has nothing to do with me ." Two days later he had an American flag in the back window of his redneck truck . That is what we have become as a nation . We are responding instead of thinking and leading the way . We responded to the attacks with a vengeance that resulted in more tragedy ,more repression , and more "Flag waving" to cover the recognition of what we,as a country were doing . We have been responding since the Iranian hostage situation ,not noticing that our government was responsible for propping up the Shah , another good dictator like Mubarac in Egypt or the King of Saudi Arabia . What did we expect the Iranians to do bend over and ask for more ?

What makes money is not always what is good ! The time for recognition is now , this moment and not tomorrow or the next day . The emperor has no clothes and everyone is afraid to see the fact because nobody wants to be different than anyone else . "Big Brother" is here , George Orwell told us and we decided not to recognise him . Big Brother came with a whimper not a bang like the end of the world that the poet prophesised yet we refuse to recognise . "How does the world end ? How does the world end?" I doubt that it will be from a North Korean bomb or an Iranian bomb . Te time of being the class bully is past , neuclear proliferation is unstopable . We don't run the world . Korea and Iran are right in recognising that America doesn't threaten countries with atomic bombs . How does the world end? Boomaley , boomaley , Boom ...

The sacred cow quietly eats us all .

Blown Up Too Many Differences

This final shot from the series was brightened by the negative colors coming forward . My intention was to brighten and make it CD sized and then after seeing the results I decided to blow it up again larger than it originally was made . It seemed like I needed a vacation from my usual post here in my blog . The picture here seems small in the presentation , smaller than I intended , infact back to near the size of the CD cover which will have dark print overlay with my recording information . It can be blown up by clicking the pic to see my intended effect and the subtleties of the painting .

I Want To Talk About You

I posted the link somewhere on this page on Facebook to a version of Coltrane playing "I Want To Talk About You". (I have had trouble posting this link so I am just printing it directly.) https://youtu.be/ADPm-3JMbwo I guess I will have to find it again to illustrate my catalyst of this idea I am writing which came from looking at that video . It was taken in Stockholm in 1962 . I don't remember if I saw it before or not . I did get a Cd from my public library recently that featured two separate performances by Trane and it well might have been one of them . The link I posted from Youtube had recording marks on it and gave it the illusion that it was filmed at the original site and concert . I don't really know right now about the history of the video but after watching the entire cut , I did have this question spinning around my head of "What happened to America , to music , and to us to send us to the current point we are in history ." Coltrane played that night so relaxed and not like he would play the same song several years later after he was affected by Albert Ayler , his own continued experiments , and the way the music world was turning till he passed . He played the melody with small embellishments and then showed his variations on the theme . His variations could have been played yesterday by one of our friends who had the benefit of hearing and being influenced by Coltrane . His solo was that timeless though the recording was before Kennedy was assassinated . There was another recording a year later that was just days before that terrible event ,one at The Newport Festival and later on Oct. 8th ,1993 live at Birdland .Indeed the tune developed it's own soul and identity over the last years of John's life . The sixty two version with the illusion of a bootleg from Youtube had a relaxed quality about it and I didn't want to hear McCoy play a solo and he didn't , Trane carried the entire vehicle and didn't extend the ending with a cadenza but simply said what he had to say in that simpler time before assignations , betrayals , and the changing of the American identity to a darker character . As I wrote a comment in Facebook , it just slipped off my fingers as I typed but I knew I would have to go back and re-think the enormity of the question ,"What happened to us ?" Jazz had taken a turn with Ornette and classical music began to accept the fringe elements like "Music Concrete" and electronic composers like Stockhausen were opening ears up to other possibilities by 1959 . Trane was finishing up his tour with Miles , sobered from heroin by 1958 and by 1961 or 62' his quartet was taken the form that makes their music together seem timeless . Perhaps the Youtube version I posted was of the young quartet . By the mid-sixties ,Nam was raging , Kennedy was dead , Johnson was losing support , King was achieving recognition , and an entire generation was involved in revolution against the status quo which featured the continued separation of the races and the subjugation of women . When Johnson abdicated his political position and didn't run for office in 1968 , the democrats tried to run the party line down the throats of a nation that wasn't buying it . The separation , the corruption ,and the misuse of power resulted in the breakdown of the democratic Party and a major loss to Nixon in one of the closest elections ever in this country . This split across the country was more than just the anti-war movement because the anti-war movement already had mostly Democrats . Johnson was demoralized , the Democrats were defeated and Nixon claimed the rewards and settled down to running another corrupt Republican administration . By 1972 , McGovern didn't really have a chance but Nixon still employed "Dirty Tricks" to put the icing on the cake which was hidden behind the curtain of "Executive Privilege". In the flurry of those years , Coltrane's death in 1967 became just another name in a long list of tragic endings that went on and on till the Kent State Massacre which proved that the government wasn't afraid to lower it's guns against it's own constituents . Is it any wonder that the seventies brought nothing but coke and disco , money and the lack of aesthetic value . Elvis shouldn't have been a surprise to anyone , just another name in a flow of names like Hendrix and Joplin that had already succumb to self indulgence on the public music trail . The finish of the Teddy Kennedy run for presidency was an ugly murderous deal with undertones of sex and alcohol and the last hope of bringing back that "Camelot" went down the toilet .Perhaps the only great joy of the seventies was "Saturday Night Live" which promised a laugh at the entirety of it though it was a participant in the entirety . If music , art, painting , plays , and even current television shows are a reflection of our times , then perhaps there are no real surprises except we don't really see actual art anymore . Art became what sells instead of art being in demand because it is art .What is art ? Well , art isn't Motown groups being taught to dance like the other groups ;it isn't bands learning cover records or synthetic groups produced by large companies to capitalize on the current moment . It isn't a dance that talks about their music as if they created their music . It isn't the "Standard Contract" or ASCAP or BMI or the loss of the copyright or the publishing on original work to people who are little more than identity thieves. We have elevated the "Crook" and raised our glasses to the connivers , the covetous , the flim flam men who have finally come to live in Washington DC ,growing tired of the naked artist who had such a poor fight , anyway . It is hard to continue to write about the downers of modern history to illustrate a question of "What happened?" Dwelling upon this idea might let my guard down , as if I could do anything about what has happened in the past or what is happening right now . This illusion of democracy should be seen as an illusion . The flag waving should stop for a while so we can find out what is wrong here .In the sixties and seventies there was a bad deal where you gave a guy twenty dollars and he told you to wait in the hallway till he got back with the pot . The would be dealer never comes back and it doesn't take you long to realise that he won't be back but that doesn't change the way you feel or the fact that the money is gone . Last September the Bush administration hurried a deal brought forth by an unelected official, Paulson , which ended up costing 750 billion dollars in the waning moments of that administration . This year the Obama administration brought about and continued the same deal . Same deal , different faces , same hallway , the same foolish feeling , the same irate stupid way you feel when you lose money the same way you lost it once before . The government has lost it's checks and balances . ....But it is hard to continue to focus backward . The Trane piece is still vibrant and valid . It shows a simpler time , a more relaxed time . It is a reflection of our time . What happened to out time ? I can't find it all or I can't focus , or I refuse to dwell upon this negative presentation any longer . The current news on television and in blogs involves the resurgence of the "Taliban" with the same kind of abuses of women in the name of Allah as they brought forth in 1996 before the invasion of Afghanistan . The news will bring forth pictures of protesters , many against the war , some against abortion called "Right to Life" or against the right of a woman to control her own body . These two images are not much different than 1962 except we didn't care about what was happening in Afghanistan in 1962 . The current word "Creationism" is yet another word that brings up the arguments decided in the "Scopes" trial well over a hundred years ago . While we continue to look backward philosophically as human beings , the music has been altered and the mood is changed . It won't come back . The relaxed quality of Trane in 1962 was gone before he died in 1967 . Our music shows us the corruption of the "Sacred Cow" capitalism has affected us all . The sophistication of popular music in it's mixes and the production line of singers coming off the press shows us exactly how much the big wheels that are producing , promoting , and profiting from this vehicle have improved since they were taking the publishing rights as producers in the nineteen fifties . It is amazing that such beautiful , sophisticated women who sing in tune and speak clearly represent what is now called "Country Music" which used to be rock and roll . The twang still exist in the men who wear cowboy hats inside the buildings of the city as if insecure that people won't recognise them without their name tag . The rock and roll groups are head bangers wearing make up , cartoons of characters once in comic books much as the "Rappers" are comic book villains , cursing and sneering ,pretending to be a threat to the society they are exploiting . People who continue to play the music of the soul groups of the sixties can't bring back the mood and can't turn the world around with nostalgia , the world can't go backward . Trane once played and some people knew he was valuable and wanted more but the world changed and so did Trane reflect that change as it changed . Looking at a picture , a video of the illusion , an illusion of a video shot ,catching un-posed reality , a concert from over forty years ago in another country , another world , makes me long for simpler times . The advancements over these forty years are magnificent and those complicated turns in events also can't be put back in the bottle . What happened to us ? Tomorrow came . What else is there but today and tomorrow ? Yesterday can't be changed anymore than the video of Trane .It is a painting of time , a few brush strokes with selected colors ,stuck in itself . Enjoy it like an aged wine . I was happy to find the video of Coltrane and hear his painting , from another genii , another bottle that can't be forgotten or re-stopped , the richness of the computer and the interaction and sharing of the Internet . This link to the video which can't be embedded is from Nov 19, 1962 , he just lays it out here . What happened after then ? Gee, I mean from Kennedy on to the current 750 billion dollar plus - drug deal gone wrong . Maybe Trane saw the bad train coming and got off the boat but was screaming about it before he left . Boy , the hits keep on coming.

Book Burning and the Public Library

The public library used to be a place where reference books and other material was stored . You might find obscure ideas there as well as opinion and directions on ideas one wouldn't necessarily have in you own home . Here in Maryland I was fortunate to be able to check out vinyl records from my library by the late fifties . The jazz and classical sides that I wasn't spending money on unless I thought I just had to have a copy were another luxury item taken for granted especially by me , a denizen of the library. Today my public library has "Pop" Cds , videos,as well as expensive comic books .While they still have reference books , in fact a reference section , they tend to become more and more generic instead of introspective into the diverse subjects of the world .I have spoken with the buyers for the systems of two local counties and the reasoning behind this trend and the general answer is that "Circulation" brings more funds to buy and support the library system . The quick circulation of popular music CDs brings attention to the entire system even though the circulation drops off and dies as that CD loses popularity to another "Pop" side . This ,unfortunately, has gone the same way with printed matter .

In the early eighties I bumped into a book by an obscure archaeologist , Barbara Thiering , called "The Qumran Origins of the early Christian Church" . After reading her book and having it out for the limit , I went to a drug store and copied it page for page because I was so impressed and books published in Australia weren't found on the shelves of the mall unless it involved Olivia Newton John . I tried to get more books by "Thiering" as years went by and she produced more and they were available for a while through the library system . It wasn't long before her books became "Reference" material and then I had to send away to specific library systems available across the United States . Her books ,ironically, could still be found in seminaries and Christian Colleges ,for instance "Oral Roberts University " had copies for a while but eventually they became totally unavailable through the system .

I knew that Barbara Thiering now had a London publisher and had ,what might seem , a greater world wide accessible product . In today's world of "Amazon" and the Internet , in fact , her books are buy-able but not available to kids coming into the library anymore . I have joked about it being in the "Book Burning" section but I am afraid that joke is very close to where it actually is hidden . I have been fortunate to have found Barbara Thiering online and have had some correspondence with her and have been flippant enough to suggest that if she published a book as fiction , she might get better response . I also suggested this wise crack to another brilliant writer I met here in Cyberspace , Ahmed Osman , whose books "Stranger in the Valley of the Kings" and "Moses , Pharaoh of Egypt" also used to be on the local library shelves .

The fact is that we really aren't too far away from "Book Burning" as a human race . When John Lennon remarked that the Beatles were more popular than Jesus the response to some people was to have a Beatles record burning . In recent years controversy about Samuel Clemens has come to fore in the attempt of changing the language of an era , our history found between the lines in fiction like "Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn". It is ironic that Clemens might be controversial today for the use of the word "Nigger"when , at the time, it might have been controversial in the suggestion that all men in America should be and free .I don't think that Clemens will achieve "Book Burning" status (except in a few towns). I now appears that the "Taliban" are coming back to power and in fact the United States is willing to bargain with them right now .The Taliban are supposedly the lesser of the two evils in Afghanistan . "Taliban" over "Al Caeda" and Bin Laden in spite of their history of the abuse of women in the name and guise of Allah . It's almost as if we forgot about the football fields of Afghanistan where women were shot in the back of the head for not wearing a "Burka". It is unbelievable .

Diplomacy might cover a multitude of sins yet we , as a democratic people , still are looking back at Roe Vs. Wade and are willing to debate an idea like the right of a woman to abort an unwanted child . This right to life or right of choice would seem without question except for the fact that we also seem to equivocate around the "Scopes" trial and "Darwinism". Religious mythology versus science takes too much attention in a government that was supposedly designed to separate religion from government because of what the founding founders learned from their own closer history with the "Church of England". Can we not remember anything ?

It was last year that the question arose in this country about weather "Torture" should be used on prisoners . I thought that the "Spanish Inquisition" had proven than people will confess or say anything to get out of torture . People said that they could fly and implicated their neighbors to be killed instead of them . It is incredible that we can go backward and forget so easily . "Book burning" is a lot gentler than "People burning" so you might say ,"Don't complain!" That is don't complain till they start burning you .

I miss the library of old though not too long ago . America once was a country that was open to ideas and theories beyond the conservative line . The word "Liberal" has become a dirty word in popular radio . The demonetization of the media as "The Liberal Press" is meant to discredit politically and is an opinion and is obviously not a reality in every case ,for instance "Fox News" or the stations that support Rush Limbaugh and his broadcast. The free press is missing in the library , at least the pressing ideas and theories that are contrary to the religious mythology that is prevalent in this country . I wish I could believe that this is a place of religious freedom but I am afraid that when you scratch the surface of America you come out with a "Theocracy" founded in Judaism . It is ironic to me that Judaism might be founded in a Theocracy that was invented in Egypt by a Pharaoh who attempted to dictate monotheism to a country that all ready had freedom of religion . "Thou Shalt Have No Other God Before ME" , the first commandment of Akhnaton , the self professed son of Aten , whom you can only access through him , certainly seems familiar somehow . I wish I could find out more about him but a lot of the theories are in the "Book Burning" section and no longer available because Brittany Spears has a new CD out this month and the funding has been cut in favor of circulation .

Theatrics

I had a vision , a theatrical vision of a presentation as it might be presented . Thinking about this idea I realized that the occurrence had already happened without the theatrics . In 1972 the New York Free Jazz Festival had "Happenings" at all the major parks where there might be sixty men on the central stage playing at once . The free idea and cacophony were there but there was no direction . As a bassist in the sixties at jazz sessions with tunes that went on for days it seemed , I thought to myself , "These horn players are coming out of the woodwork ," as my fingers bled on the strings and my hands got cramps . Horns are really wonderful instruments that represent each individual clearly yet they often stand or sit in a row , moving together in big bands , moving rhythmically in soul or pop bands . In the free atmosphere I can see horn players draped across the stage , standing on a spiral staircase stage right , hanging one foot off the stage ,stage center , sitting at a stool at a bar ,stage left , hanging around the drum set and the bassist near the center backstage and all playing different ,floating free parts .

The Coltrane recording called "Ascension" is a similar sound , also the Ornette piece "Free Jazz" has that feeling yet both also have a desperate quality to them that isn't necessary . Players can play free without screaming to get attention and they should be directed theatrically in a presentation instead of being fenced in to positions that inhibit instead of freeing their minds and attitudes. The picture of the tenor player blowing upward in an approximation of response to his own music is theatrical as is the trumpet player playing with his horn raised into the air . In this day of extensive miking and amplification , the projection of the sound isn't necessary yet the theatrics get passed over except by the front man who actually gets more attention because of his theatrics .

The "air guitar" has actually become a modern computer game . People are perfecting their theatrics without even learning how to play the instrument at all . This does say something about the importance of theatrical presentation and how much attention it demands . Chuck Berry managed to play his blues and still "Duck-walk" and this was a stage act that brought him more attention . The continuation of guitar theatrics with Peter Townsend and his eventual theatrical destruction of his instrument brought excitement to the audience almost like a wrestling event . Jimi Hendrix also capitalized on "Real" guitar theatrics with his sensational burning of his instrument and even masturbatory movements . The current game abut rock guitar ,using a simulated instrument uses the choreography of these actual performers to bring the illusion of performance to an amateur gamer.

Louis Jordan used his horn to amplify points during his show . Louis Armstrong also used his own version of theatrics to cover his loose improvisational skills . Sam Butera had a classic line for his solos with the "Louis Prima Show". The point of bringing up all these "Louies" is that theatrics are missing in most serious jazz presentations . Free jazz ,generally, isn't given any direction at all .

The vision I had was of cyber friends , at a distance , contributing to my own free music . Recently , playing loose and leaving space , I could imagine everyone adding parts by recording with one of my cuts and sending me a MP3 to mix into the whole . The more I thought of it , the more I could see Noah Howard hanging a foot offstage , John Desalm . leaning against a wall with his horn up , Marshall Keys blowing center , right stage ,looking directly at the audience , Pete Barembregge leaning on a bar stool ,stage left , Doc Holbert playing his trumpet ,looking toward the second row center , Vince McCool playing with his horn down next to the drummer and bass player . Larry Guggenheim is playing his guitar next to his amp looking toward the drums .The vision is of music being played separately yet together , freely , yet choreographed for this production . I know that the individual calling of the musicians , some big band , some soul bands, some free jazz , and some rock , are diverse yet I still insist that they play together freely , whatever comes will be . The picture of the event is also part of the event much as noise can be part of modern music . There is no life without airplanes , trains, cars , and the cacophony of people talking , one man whistling a different tune than you , a radio in a car going by , the sound of wheels traveling from one direction to the next in the rain covered surface of the road . This is modern sound and music , the fuzz tone guitar with a phase shifter is a jet going by high above .

The cacophony of noise , of different musics are the music of free jazz , of ears opened to the possibilities of the future sounds and what the future will bring . I still would like to bring forth an event of this nature yet , in a way , I am afraid to present the idea . I know that in this machine there are different worlds in every person . The aesthetic idea is hard to present in a serious context to other serious musicians who are involved in their own worlds . We must remember that once there was a time when we all were inspired with music and not in our little boxes that became "Jobs" . Perhaps this is also the state of modern man , that is isolation in the face of such intense communications . Cell phones , computers , telephone answering machines , and music yet this takes us apart as well as much as it brings us together . The irony of the music of our times , not "Theo-phony" as in hurricanes , earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions ,but "Theo-Funny" as God laughs at our futile attempts to find reason in all this . Musical ideas can only be written about for so long because it has to be played and listened and experienced . The painting is still in my minds eye waiting to be brought to fruition .

Strange Bedfellows of Memory

This year I was given a comedy CD called "Teen Comedy Party" which included a cut that I was involved with by singing the part of the character "Tony Rosatoni" in a commercial about his appearance in the econolodge behind the airport . It featured clips from some of his "big tunes" , almost as if it were a commercial that was selling a CD. Listening this morning I remembered playing a place on Long Island called "Foxes and Hounds" where I sold Sinatra songs . It seemed I was thrust into this character back then in 1972. I have often said that I don't "play by ear" but "for fear" and this is an example of one of those occasions where I was trying to continue to support myself by singing though I wasn't really the character I was portraying . The "Foxes and Hounds" was a trip in itself which brings memories of sounds and taste , the taste of the bacon cheeseburgers I couldn't pass up as I drove across the bridge out of Manhattan's upper East Side toward Long Island and a town called "Rockville Center" , another recurring name for me . I drove a lot of the days of the week out there ,including Sunday when I had a weekly afternoon job during that time playing at the "Village Vanguard" with Noah Howard and his band . The contrast of the two identities from the piano might have brought about a deep schizophrenia in other , more susceptible pianist but I played by fear , anyway . I would drive to Long Island after playing the Village gig many times already spent by the music played there .

Noah has been consistent as recognisable a free jazz alto sax player . His work on ESP Records in the mid-sixties is still a classic representation of that era and genre . The construct of the tunes were quite loose and brought about a creativity that is still exciting when you listen to the live recording that was eventually done from the location . It is hard to believe that I would pull in the reins and sing on Long Island after playing such abstract music that was outside the box . One of the drummers that played the Long Island job with me was Joe Gallavan , another free jazz , outside player in his day gig . Driving back from that job I was pulled over by the police who went through all things in search of drugs that weren't found . He said that the reason he pulled me over was that I was speeding away fro the light though the car really didn't have much power with the organ and amps in it . It was a 1964 Dodge Dart with that push button transmission . It was painted brown by hand with a brush and not very attractive like the police car which happened to be a brand new Cadillac with no markings . I had Pennsylvania tags which got me around the exorbitant price of insurance in New York City and that was probably what really got the Long Island cop's attention at three in the morning .

From 1972 on I seemed to have a different band every night . I couldn't keep men together but did get work from agents and by knocking on doors . I had a lot of "Rock" work as well playing top forty or pop songs . I tried to keep the same drummers as long as I could but the world kept on turning and there was no solid ground for me for several years of this madness . Playing in Teaneck New Jersey where there were trees reminded me of Silver Spring Maryland and I eventually moved down here only to find that the Silver Spring in my memory didn't exist any more . Silver Spring reminded me of Teaneck and I am sure that Teaneck has gone the same way as Silver Spring .

I don't remember when I did the initial recording of the "Tony Rosatoni" character for Dave Nuttycomb but it was quite a while ago . It might have been as far back as the late eighties while the CD itself was released in 2000 which included material written by Dave and his witty friends . There are forty cuts on the side and "Tony" is only one of the characters . I really wasn't aware that there was a CD made and there was a lot of water over the dam since then . This was also the case with Noah Howard , in a way . I knew when the recording was originally made at the "Village Vanguard" and heard the playback that night which was supposed to be released someday but I never saw it in record form . In about 1998 my friend ,Len Cohen ,who was a web master among his many talents , contacted Noah Howard in Brussels . Noah was friendly and eventually came to New York to play the " Knitting Factory ", a Free jazz television show , among his gigs in the US . He promised to burn me a CD copy of the record and left the copy with a friend of his in NY but I never got a copy . The CD of "Noah Howard Live at the Village Vanguard" was made and released in end of 2004 by a fellow in Chicago who sent me a copy and I was able to hear it after thirty years or so . The recording did hit the spot though I had remembered it a little different . The listing has one drummer , Rashid Ali , while I thought we had two drummers , the other guy being the guy who was with us week after week , Bobo something ... sorry , I can't remember his name anymore at all even though it was unusual . I also remember a third horn ,Benny Maupin , playing the bass clarinet with Noah Howard on alto and Frank Wright on tenor . I wondered if the CD had been edited to exclude Maupin but I keep forgetting to ask Noah . The music is out of print again and just more baggage to worry with if you dwell upon the incidentals .

In the last ten years I have gotten involved with a computer and found out more about communications online .I am happy to be in touch with Noah again as well as Dave Nuttycomb . Perhaps some of the blanks will be filled in and perhaps it is better to look forward and not backward . Len Cohen died in March 2003 but he initiated me into the Internet . When I play "My Man's Gone Now" sometimes I think of Len but today I realised that sometimes I am thinking of myself ,looking back . My grandmother told me not to look back too much because I would probably bump or trip over something as I was walking forward in life. Memories are not what they appear . Impressions of the past can be better or worse than they really were at the time .Things aren't what the seem to be right under your nose day to day . Whatever happens , you have to take one step at a time to go forward.

Tripping

It is funny to me when I hear the phrase "I'm trippin'" and the people aren't trippin' at all , in fact they are really straight guys using drug codes . It is amazing to me how so much drug and jail vernacular has infiltrated the every day language of the straight folks , the hard workin' Christian folks , as if the rest of the world is just sitting on their thumbs . The politicians have played this phrase so often so, bitterly often , almost like the phrase "The silent majority" which represented the people supposedly backing the Viet Nam War ,or whatever the the Nixon administration was pushing . we have gotten so used to spin that we , as a people , can't see what anything means anymore . But " I'm Trippin' " . Yea right !

I looked around Facebook and didn't see any music from the musicians so I deleted my posts , my links , my music . It is nice that I feel rich enough to give away my efforts but , gee, if I am a sore thumb , why stick out ? No, I am withdrawing . I remember having a friend . My friend said, "Don't betray yourself ." He also told me not to apologise for being human and exposing my tears as well as my joy . He was the one who said , "Don't be let down by the lack of response on the Internet ,most people just don't have anything to say ." I know that some people hunt and peck but , then again , I know that some people have no problem typing , they just really don't have anything to say . It is a mystery to me when I look in the mirror as I am driving and there is a car five feet behind me with a driver who is rapt in conversation on the cell phone . I have to wonder , "Is this one of the people with something to say ?" "Why does he have to be so close behind me ?" It is like Moby Dick driving behind me and beckoning in a way from my mirror at sixty miles an hour . With all the tools , the Internet , the cell phone , and the familiar vernacular from jail and drugs , I am fooled into thinking that there are other people who understand something about anything other than the party line and I forget that I am in Washington DC , another version of Hollywood . Is there anything real here at all ?

Last week I remembered a joy of singing , of playing , of being alive . My expression of the recognition fell on the pavement like an executive in the crash of 1929 . Maybe the garage bands still have some semblance of joy , maybe not . A lot of the bands really were just copying what was already done , performing in public the material of other bands . A lot of the bands just did the same show night after night even though the show was original . I mean playing the same tune over and over again and all it became was money , a job . Some people think this was adulthood . How many times have I heard the phrase , "Well, I used to play but , you know , I have a family ..." Was this an excuse or and explanation for the lack of commitment or the lack of joy , or the lack of actual ability ? I don't know . I do know that when I send a message and get no response to the message , it reminds me of my friends warning and the "Adult" nature of what became of the musicians , the pseudo artist who went into work , hammering away , with all the tools and no soul . I don't mean soul in the sense of "Soul music" or the vernacular where now only black people can use the word , another jailhouse , drug phrase that is watered down , I mean " Where is the beef?" Where is the essence of the craft of Bach , of Stravinsky , of Charlie Parker , Dizzy Gillespie , and the call that brought the modern musicians into playing in the first place ?

We are faced with irony . Wynton Marsalis is Mr. Jazz and the guy doesn't even swing . He is the darling trumpet player in the same tradition of Chet Baker , Miles Davis , and Freddy Hubbard , used by Columbia and eventually set aside for another darling . Marsalis can spout lies and bigotry and be respected in the world of spin . After all he is Black , that makes it all OK , right ? He does play classical trumpet too, doesn't he ? Wait a minute ! The guy doesn't swing ! The emperor has no clothes ! Marsalis is just the tip of the iceberg. It is like blaming the entire economic crisis on "AIG" . "AIG" is only part of the whole . We , as a people have sanctioned the entire climate that brought about a decline . We have accepted "Spin" ,lies as a way of life.

I saw a comment on "Youtube" yesterday as I visited an old video of Frank Sinatra singing . The comment below the video included "Sinatra was the most over-rated singer ...." . This smug remark might be an opinion or it might be someone trying to be accepted in a climate where it has become fashionable to criticize ,Ala MTV ,and not recognise.Seeing this remark reminded me of Sinatra with the Tommy Dorsey band traveling the country in one night stands , a way of life that wasn't easy. Musicians used to make a living in this country . We moved from town to town and not just the big acts . It occurred to me that while Sinatra's singing might have changed , especially at the end of his life , he still was a character that was interesting to a generation because he was among those who were subjected to public scrutiny ,living his life in the camera , revealing his talents and flaws . Still it seemed easier to criticize Sinatra than Marsalis . Marsalis has defenders who spout the party line like a Jehovah's Witness at the door , like ditto heads for Limbaugh . Where is the beef? What happened to the essence of American music ? Where is the soul ?

We have accepted music as a contest on television , a contest that has commercials , a corrupt contest that smugly says "This poetry is not as good as that poetry because it doesn't sell soap as well ." So the sacred cow of capitalism is now running the entire show . A singer can't be a singer and sing the melody written by the composer , the singer must add the current appoggiatura , sometimes entire phrases that are not the melody . The current Southern Baptist Church cliches were fun when Ray Charles introduced them into popular music 1956 but now they are monsters , evil monsters , embellishments added and endorsed by capitalism and not art . Art was never a contest like football . A contest with all the people singing loud ,emotional high notes doesn't show a culture that is aware of the the variations necessary to create art . Music is soft and loud , joy and sadness as is life . It can be a painting , a depiction of the experience of the artist . It isn't going through the motions , showing up for work , using the current appoggiatura, or what the sponsor directs . Art exist because it has to exist not because it is told to exist or because an audience is directed to recognise that it exist . The sacred cow is naked . Capitalism has brought us to the current lack of charm , the current economic crisis , and the illusion of popular art . Greed wasn't the catalyst of the troubadours yet the troubadour brought changes in society like the idea of choosing ones own mate or marrying for love . This concept wasn't a universal quest . The poetry brought forth the question of the possibility to an entire world . The church may have supported organist and composers but it never supported questions . The current church of Capitalism also doesn't support questions in fact what it endorses and supports is conformity and acceptance in favor of the product .

The Emperor is naked ! Doesn't he know? He might be busy on the cell or texting a message even though he really doesn't have anything to say . Maybe he's just "Trippin" .